Am I a Writer?

As a person of many words... and less in the action department, I find myself thinking: am I a writer? Do I actually have a good story?

Then after those thoughts... I come to a conclusion by doing what every human does; Rationalization.

I can rationalize why i hate getting up in the monring, i can rationalize why i didn't do the dishes for three days... i can even rationalize my tremendious fear of clowns.

You may ask clowns? Really?
Well, yes really.  Here's my excuse for running from them like a bat out of hell... nearly in tears everytime. (and yes that includes if they are on the tv)
They are child molesting murders.  There i said it... that's my belief and has been... even before like an idiot i read "it" AND saw the movie.... both just solidified the fear.  No, i have no real reason behind it... no, i will never go out of my way to figure it out. And, no my children will NEVER have a clown at their birthday parties... EVER.

See that? I rationalized my unexplained fear... and should i note that i am one of millions with this irrational fear? Honestly, i could make the funniest book just about that fear alone, complete with amusing true stories behind every excuse i have to fear them.

Why did i mention rationalization? Because, every human does it. I don't think that they realize how often or what over... but a person can rationalize the hell out of anything.  But, a writer not only rationalizes but creates a story behind what they have thought to be a good reason for their actions.  Thus you get the novel writing process.  because, without us watching, and making excuses that we know will not help... we create a conflit, and with that confilct we create the hero and heroine... in my case the Heroine is the true saviour...
Did this story come from some excuse i made? Yes, to tell the truth... Raven came to me one day after i was trying to tell my step mom why i wouldn't read anything that had to do with real life.  I was trying to rationalize my need to be taken away from this place called reality.  And, raven just did it for me.  She, was my muse.  Built off of years upon years.. of me reading stories about a boy and his dog, of stories where the girl needs to be saved by a big strong burly man... years upon years of feminine oppression.   Not only that but in reality! After, watching the only female presidential nominee fail to become the TRUE nominee i finally said you know what? I am going to write about Rave... she has been in my head for years... and she can save the world and prove that women have the power and we don't need a boy.


The other part of my conclusion is this: Writers watch.  Seriously, they watch... all the time.  Have you ever wondered why that guy/girl over in the corner at the coffee shop was watching the door and the room around them?  Maybe, just maybe they are writers.  Everything in this world can and will be used in whatever it is they are writing.

I know i do it... watch people.  I have gotten the dirtiest looks, i have even gotten rude comments.  And, and i have used everything in short stories i have written.  and when i say everything.. i truly mean everything.  Want to know something funny? My name means Litterally "The Watching Sea of Bitterness"...

Who do i write for: you the people... why? because the story is me... it's in me... part of me and because of me. It's my world... and i am creating it for you.

One more thing: I question everything... even myself. Without question there is not an answer... and without an answer there are not words.

So with that said... yes, i think i am a writer. 


I urge all writers out there to do what i have done.  Figure out what makes you write... and why you write... and then ask yourself "am i a writer?"  and i bet you will find your answer.