As I was sitting down to write this blog I realized... 50% of you won't notice i wrote anything... 25% of you won't care that I wrote anything and skim past the words all together.... 34% of you will notice but, not even reply... and that 1% who does read my blog is a friend. It's funny how some people write a blog to connect. I write a blog (when i have time) to stay sane. Sane for me, is that the thoughts of destruction are bearable, the self defamation is in hiding, and the pleasantries are in abundance. I started writing my novel as an outlet. A reason for all my dirty little secrets... the kind of secrets that would break the prim and proper world. I started writing because I LOVED it... now i don't even really know what the story is about. Maybe, it's because it wasn't a good story to begin with... or maybe, it's because i don't think i will ever get it done... or maybe, it's because my life is always upside down that i can't seem to find right side up. Maybe, it's because I am back on the self destructive path i have always been on.
Either way... it's come to my realization that if i don't write... i just might fade away.
I hate when things like that happen. I get it a lot myself. The second-guessing, the thinking it's stupid/nonsensical, and then trying to find the time to do whatever it is that I am trying to work on. The only thing that keeps me going back to a project at times is the drive to finish it, even if I think it's horrible. At least then I have the satisfaction of completing the peice (jewelry, knitting, ect). A good portion of the time, what I think is "junk" other people like. Don't give up. Do what you can when you can, and keep chipping away at it. :)
ReplyDeleteSarah
Thank you Sarah! That means a lot to me! and you have helped my spirit bunches!
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