Working...

Lately i have been doing more working than writing... not saying that it's a bad thing... but it does make me sad.  I am starting to feel as if i will never get another chapter done.  sometimes the wish to be a full time writer takes over... with that comes the realization that unless i get a publisher soon... that's not going to happen.  Sadness for that realization.

Excitedly thought, i let everyone know that i have a new house and will soon be following through on my threat of posting random parts of my novel on my blog!  That's assuming people read this thing...

New Changes

I am heading down a road of new changes!
I have said this before... but, until just a few minutes ago... I was trying to make the old life fit the new one.
It just can't...

Changes in writing style:
This book has to be written... the characters are bombarding my head...
They need to get out and on paper! I am dreaming about them and they are so real!

First major change to the book is; it needs to be first person.  I am trying to create different views on the same story and it's not working.  So, it's going to be just from Raven's view.  It's mainly about her so... she must be the who we all see the world from.

Second; creating a music playlist.  For so long my life has been defined by music, so why can't my writing and characters be centered around the same?  Music is my world, and writing is my muse. 

Third: new and final character addition.

Characters are now:
Raven, Jordan, Mally, Sadie, Airianna, Landon, King Callus, and Katarine

With these writing changes... maybe I'll get something done!

It's official!

I have a new character!!! His name is James!
He needs an epic back story! Short story on James to come!
No more than one or two pages i am thinking!

Side note: there may not be posts for a bit (not that i post regularly or anything)... due to moving! eep!!! life changes!!!

Today

Today I am feeling quite energetic!
Maybe it's because I have had WAY too much coffee... or maybe it's because for the first time in awhile my plans are working!

See, I am a planner... I have every aspect of my life planned out.  But, lately these plans have been changing and I am finding more and more that I can't control them.  However, I just need to adapt.  So... I have adapted.  I have changed plans... changed lifestyles without compromising my essence and maintained what is the core of me.  It's not without hard work and a little houmer to get me through..  OCD blows big chunky bawls! I refuse to let it define me!

With that! Goooooo me... I plan on writing some today!

At times

At times I feel so lost. These words are not coming! And I don't know why. Maybe it's cause I am stuck. Who knows. Maybe I'll start posting the actually story so you all can give me advice.

Grr

Stolen hard drive... stolen life's work... only proof i have that my novel is mine... is that my sister sent me the very first copy i sent to her in 2009.  GRRRRR

Realization.

As I was sitting down to write this blog I realized... 50% of you won't notice i wrote anything... 25% of you won't care that I wrote anything and skim past the words all together.... 34% of you will notice but, not even reply... and that 1% who does read my blog is a friend.  It's funny how some people write a blog to connect. I write a blog (when i have time) to stay sane.  Sane for me, is that the thoughts of destruction are bearable, the self defamation is in hiding, and the pleasantries are in abundance.  I started writing my novel as an outlet.  A reason for all my dirty little secrets... the kind of secrets that would break the prim and proper world.  I started writing because I LOVED it... now i don't even really know what the story is about.  Maybe, it's because it wasn't a good story to begin with... or maybe, it's because i don't think i will ever get it done... or maybe, it's because my life is always upside down that i can't seem to find right side up.  Maybe, it's because I am back on the self destructive path i have always been on.


Either way... it's come to my realization that if i don't write... i just might fade away.